R1a1, the Economy and Other Things!

Well the whole genetic testing thing is very confusing. I think because the science is still in its infancy, hopefully it will resolve later on. All I know for sure is that it is Ashkanazi Levite and accordingly a priest class which is ironic. My mom’s side is some bizarre haplotype that very little is known about, which doesn’t surprise me.

Now I’d like to talk a bit about the economy. I’ve been trying to get a psychic read on it for awhile now but keep feeling this amorphous, neptunian energy that feels gestational. So far things are not decided, paths are not walked down and things are stagnent in terms of how we are going to get out of this hole. A reader also sent me a link to a group of people who have been doing mass meditations for the earth and their own development. And after looking at the site I wondered if this was perhaps part of the over-soul’s sputter. It feels a bit like a tug of war right now. The only thing I get for sure is it will take about 2 years for us to get back on track economically and that is for sure here in America and pretty much world wide. There are a bunch of undecided moves that need to be made before I can cast my gaze into the future because we are still at a cross road and not enough has been decided to predict with any real accuracy what will happen in the long term. I do know however that it’s much better than it would have been if Obama hadn’t won. But there is a lot to be done, a lot to be corrected and a lot to be accounted for and this will take time, unfortunately.

I just want to say to all those out there who are feeling depressed, alone, and/or financially strapped: this is a temporary situation, things will get better and it’s important to recognize you as an individual have gotten caught in the cross hairs of a much bigger problem. Don’t blame yourself personally (unless of course you voted for George W, then blame away!) This is a time when I feel people are confused about what’s coming up next, nothing is going as planned and it’s scary. Many of us haven’t taken a direct hit yet but have seen others around us suffering with the weight of this. Now is the time for bargaining, cooperation, spirituality, bartering and community so get involved and re-evaluate the values we have been stewing in for the past 20 or more years. Consumerism isn’t what it’s cracked up to be, our grandparents and great grandparents had it right buy what you need only and repair what you can, don’t be wasteful. What you can’t use give to someone who can or trade it for something you need.

Here is a link to the international group meditation website. In a couple of days they are going to do a mass meditation again. It might be an interesting experience for people out there to try connecting to this energy. We are often much more powerful when working together than separately. So if you have time check it out and join in and write in about your experiences. Perhaps I’ll put up a page for comments about the experience if enough of you decide to try it.

I haven’t read all the ideology on the blog but I like the idea of people meditating together so here’s the link:

http://www.firethegrid.com/eng09/FTGII.htm

Best wishes,

Denise

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R1a1, the Economy and Other Things!

Haplotypes and Irony

I’m in the process of getting back my DNA information. I swabbed my brother as he’s the only one in our family who has both patrilineal and matrilineal coding in his genes. As it turns out on my father’s side (I knew was Ashkenazi Jewish, his father came from Lithuania) but I’m still not sure about his mother who was also Jewish, but her family had been in the states much longer. Ironically I belong to the R1A1 haplotype on that side of the family which is also the same line Hitler thought was the “master race.” R1A1 also turns out to be the haplotype for the group of people who settled for awhile in India (arians) and then went up north and became known as the Vikings.

When I first went to look at the results of the haplotype it talked of this descent, having come through India and then going far north. I thought this was in reference to my mother’s side, but then when I went back to find that information it was replaced with information about being Ashkanazi-Levite. I wondered if someone in the lab had a small fit after realizing that I might be sensitive to the whole Arian thing being an Ashkanzi Jew. But anyway I thought this was very odd. So it would seem there is some strange similarity perhaps even shared ancestory between those who became the Arians/Vikings and the Levites who settled in Eastern Europe although for some reason I have seen no information linking the two which leads me to believe either there is fear about linking both due to the Holocaust or I’m completely making wild leaps of association which is possible since I’m still figuring out how haplogtypes work and what they mean. 

Not only is this whole thing historically ironic, but personally so as I am a believer in Jung’s idea of ancestrial memory. I’ve had dreams (which I knew where not my past lives) of being questioned by the Nazi’s and taken by them. Also I’ve had so many dreams about India (although I’m sure this is also due to many past lives there) ever since early childhood throughout today.

Another weird thing is my father on his death bed claimed to have a conversation with Moses. Ironically the Levites are a direct link to Moses. He would be my super great uncle basically. 

I personally think memory is stored not just in the mind but in the DNA which is how certain traits get passed down like musical ability, etc. And why certain strange mutations suddenly occur. We not only have to deal with our own personal karma, and trajectory, but it seems that the family of origin’s trajectory and karma is sealed inside our DNA, the ramifications of this are like waves in our subconscious.

Best wishes to all and many blessings,

Denise

Haplotypes and Irony

Personality Disorders & More…

This seems to be a very hot topic, perhaps one we can all relate to and one that strikes a deep emotional chord. Someone mentioned that calling people who run the gamut from NPD to Anti-Social Personality Disorder uncompassionate is too harsh. I’m only stating a scientific fact. Research has indicated that people with Anti-Social Personality Disorder or those labeled Sociopathic actually only show lower limbic brain activities in response to emotional situations. Tests indicate they are literally not able to have higher functioning feelings such as love, compassion, empathy, etc. There appears to be an organic part to these diseases either non-development of certain types of bonding causes the inability to physically happen in the first few years of life or some people may just have this type of brain, this is where science is unsure.

But just because some people are unable to be compassionate doesn’t mean we should be compassion-less toward them. I am not advocating anything except whatever breaking point a person gets to in dealing with people with these problems should not be judged as everyone has a certain tolerance. And as Chris points out in her interesting post somethings are just forces of nature which we can not control and there is no point in taking it personally. In fact it may have nothing at all to do with us just as the tide moving in has nothing to do with our desire or karma.

It is admirable to take responsibility for the self and necessary for our growth however there are things in life which we are not responsible for and can not change. This perhaps is the lesson. We are not all powerful Gods. We are part of God but we do not control the Universe (Thank God for that, huh!) With so many agendas and so many issues and so many various lessons we sometimes get tangled up in other people’s issues and must learn to separate. It’s OK to not take responsibility for things we have no control over like our health, our family member’s insanity or the death of a loved one. This was my point about New Age philosophy, it often takes very complicated issues and dynamics and boils them down to a catch phrase and black and white thinking. The reason the esoteric side of things was kept secret for the seeker only to know was exactly because information is powerful and misinformation is dangerous. Before we can manifest perfect health and happiness through visualization there maybe 40 years of psychological therapy needed to undo damage done in childhood, or there maybe genetic factors that make it impossible for us to be 100% physically well. We can do our part by taking care of ourselves but we can’t stop old age, disease or death through wishing it away. Chaos and decay are just as important to the balance of nature as love and harmony are, this is not something anyone would say in a get rich quick medicine show New Age book that you would ever read. It’s not what people want to hear. We want to believe we are all powerful and can fix anything we want. But we often can not and there is nothing shameful or wrong with that it is part of the process of life to understand we all must go with the flow of energy we are swimming in.

I talked to one woman today who was having some health problems and was very embarrassed about them. She kept saying she could take care of it with her diet and blaming her health problems on herself. But the truth is she’s almost 50 years old and her body is going to have some trouble as it ages. I actually had to stop her and tell her that it wasn’t her fault and all she could do was go to the doctor and take good care of herself. That the sooner she did this the better chance she had of avoiding complications. She told me she had avoided going to a doctor for awhile because she was afraid to hear that something  might be wrong. This is a common problem as if not knowing will make it go away. This sort of wish fulfillment thinking (which is very New Age – this woman is also a New Age practitioner) is akin to visualizing winning the lottery and then flogging yourself when you got the numbers wrong. It isn’t very grounded and I think it is a left over from the child’s desire to blame everything on the self in order to feel in control.

Some great books on Personality Disorders are:
The Sociopath Next Door

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family

Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship

I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality

Desk Reference to the Diagnostic Criteria From DSM-IV-TR

I found Understanding the Borderline Mother to be one of the best books on personality disorders I have ever read. It gives a very clear delineation of the disorder and how it manifests differently in different people. BPD is a very complex disorder that often has many other psychological disturbances that can muddy the water. People with BPD can often have addiction problems, have eating disorders, bipolar disorder and a host of other problems making people who have to deal with a parent with BPD feel very confused about what exactly the problem is with the parent. This book is much more helpful than I Hate You Don’t Leave Me, which is probably more suited to someone with the disorder and not for someone seeking advice on how to deal with someone with this disorder. I also think the DSM can be invaluable for understanding the basic psychological issues people have, not that one should go diagnosing anyone after reading the DSM. It just gives a sense of the spectrum of disorders and how complicated yet alike we as  human beings are. The Sociopath Next Door seems to be out of print but I found it to be fascinating as the author relays the spectrum of that disorder through various anecdotal stories.

I saw that one reader (Christopher) was caring for a mentally ill mother and had a mentally ill brother. I would highly suggest reading some of these books, they really will help you to feel not so alone and give you ideas on how to set better boundaries and ultimately (I hope for your sake) they inspire you to seek help outside your family. You really shouldn’t be dealing with all of that by yourself it can be extremely damaging to your self-esteem and to your life’s purpose as people with personality disorders characteristically derail others in an attempt to get more “narcissistic supply” or what normal people would call attention. They are like psychic vampires that deplete you entirely without a thought to your needs, health, spirit or purpose for being here. Do yourself a favor Christopher and don’t take on all that burden without at least some help.

Many blessings,

Denise

Personality Disorders & More…

Wow! Lot’s of Action!!

There has been a lot of action about some of the topics I’ve posted about. I was going to address some of what Cheri had to say early on in a post I started but didn’t finish. I understand the need to believe there is something greater at work when dealing with someone with a mental illness. But it’s my opinion that people who run the spectrum of personality disorders from NPD, to Borderline to Anti-Social Personality Disorder are devoid of empathy. I don’t believe they “volunteer” to be the bad guys. I believe they lack empathy for a variety of reasons, some environmental due to early childhood development, some have physiological problems and others from a spiritual immaturity.

Dealing with someone who has NPD, Borderline personality disorder or Anti-Social Personality disorder can be more than trying it can literally be dangerous. They are often violent and it’s my opinion that after trying everything one can to help them (if they are a relative or close friend) but they refuse to admit their actions, apologize or show the slightest bit of empathy towards you their target, then it’s your lesson to create a boundary. Sometimes that boundary is cutting them out of your life entirely. 

If the person without empathy goes through their life taking advantage, using and exploiting others without any consequences, then how are they supposed to grow? They are like children and have to understand there are consequences to their actions. Their spiritual development is in peril and the targets life is at stake if the target does not remove themselves from the situation. 

I think Cheri’s perspective very much illustrates my point having to do with New Age ideas which as someone pointed out are actually not so new. However they are new because the New Age has taken ancient esoteric ideas and modified them to fit an illusion. Now instead of years of studying ancient texts and philosophy one reads a book and becomes an expert. But the truth is our universe is very complex and can not be boiled down into little crumpet sized bites of information, ever. And more important is that “New Age,” ideology emphasizes the positive and ignores the negative. But we can not actually get to the positive side and operate in the light without examining the darkness by facing our fears and demons with realistic understanding of who we are as a person and then learning to accept and love ourself both shadow and light. Always knowing and keeping in check our dark sides, because we all have them, and anyone who claims they don’t is probably suffering from a personality disorder, unable to take responsibility for their actions, and having to make it appear to themselves that they are 100% pure goodness because they have deep seated feelings of inadequacy that they are not dealing with.

No one is perfect. Even Jesus Christ lost his s*it at the temple on the money changers. I’m sure it was not one of his proudest moments. We all do things that hurt others either unconsciously or not. It is only those who refuse to accept this, that are the truly troubled people in our society. Statistics show that 4 percent of Americans are Sociopathic (anti-social personality disorder). New research indicates that about 6 percent of Americans (mostly men – something like 60 percent) have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which was once thought to be much more rare. Here’s a link to recent findings: http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/43/15/38

And the percentage of Americans with Borderline Personality Disorder (more women than men in this case) and with about 2 percent of the population. Here’s a link to an article on BPD: http://az.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=By_Illness&Template=/TaggedPage/TaggedPageDisplay.cfm&TPLID=54&ContentID=44780

Borderline Personality Disorder is more complicated as they almost always have co-occurring disorders, making it difficult to figure out exactly what’s going on. One thing that all three of these personality disorders have in common is a lack of empathy or really an inabilty to be empathic toward others. They relate to others as extensions of themselves, and get upset when the other person reminds them (by not exactly mirroring their feelings in that moment) they are their own separate human being. 

So we are talking about approximately 12 percent of the population have serious empathy disorders meaning they are not capable of feeling for others, therefore they have no guilt about doing wrong or very little guilt that they wash away with rationalization. 

Let’s be real here. When someone has no empathy it is very easy for them to do terrible things to others, murder, rape, child abuse, severe child neglect, all the worst things we see in human behavior are driven from this state, either in a temporary break from reality when someone is in a rage such as in the case of crime of passion. However most crimes are not committed by ordinary people who temporarily become so enraged they loose control. The vast amount of people who murder, destroy, steal, hurt and do what most religions call “evil” are done by those with an empathy deficit. Often these people make up excuses for their behavior, see themselves as victims or as above others and therefore justified in their actions. 

I have had the unfortunate experience of having a parent with one of these disorders, my other parent died when I was ten. And because I grew up with a parent with a severe empathy disorder I overcompensated and like poop I draw a lot of the empathy-less flies to me, because of my early childhood training dealing with someone like that. Los Angeles is also a NPD nest as everyone who believes themselves to be “special” gravitates toward tinsel town. So I have seen more than my fair share of people who lack empathy and seen the devastation they reek on others. Believe me there is nothing special about them other than the delusional world they make up for themselves to live in.

So to Cheri I’d like to say I hope you never have to experience anyone who has one of these terrible disorders because I’m quite sure if you did your feelings would change 180 degrees. After all it’s only the empathy-less person’s feelings that matter. Cheri, I’m hoping for your sake and those around you, that you are just being overly generous and kind hearted and not defending this group because you have an affinity for them, either because you are involved with someone with one of these devastating disorders, or are among the unfortunate who suffer from one of them. If you are involved with someone like this and are in the early stages of that relationship be very careful as these people can become extremely violent once they feel they have you. And if you are involved with someone with one of these disorders due to kinship, friendship or marriage, make sure to push them to get help – they can make progress. The earlier they get help the better their chances of recovery. Often however they don’t want help because their disorder doesn’t hurt them, it hurts others which of course isn’t much of a motivator because they don’t have compassion for others. Often it takes isolation from “loved ones” for those who are empathy challenged before they can realize they need help.

It literally does no good for others to prop up those with personality disorders or to become the long suffering victim of such people, as this only keeps them in perpetual spiritual and emotional stasis. 

Best wishes and many blessings to all the kind people out there,

Denise

Wow! Lot’s of Action!!

Kathleen Sebelius

Kathleen Sebelius head of Health and Human Services for the Obama administration was on John Stewart last night and while she didn’t say anything disagreeable I got this violent and sudden gut feeling that she had been a lobbyist and she was taking the single payer system off the table. That she was selling Obama on another health plan that was going to be good for the insurance companies (at least in the short term – that’s all corporations can think about anyway) and it wasn’t really going to be all that awesome for everyone else.

I got this hit that the government would pick up the health insurance for anyone kicked off their plan. So basically only sick people would be able to get government insurance and anyone who pays for private health insurance will eventually have to be 100% healthy. In essence the insurance companies will slowly kick all the sick people out making it appear that they have higher and higher profits each quarter for a while. Of course eventually the whole thing will come crashing down and the private insurance companies will make themselves obsolete, but in the mean time they will appear to be winning.

Sebelius had a weird vibe as if she was playing bait and switch. I worried at first she was leading Obama down a path that would ruin his political career. But I think she’s tricky and knows that the only way to a single payer system can eventually win is to pretend to play ball with the lobbyists and let them believe it will be good for business. She’s smart enough to know eventually this will collapse and we will have to revamp the system once more, but by then they won’t have any power.

It’s smart but I have to say I don’t see why the Dems have to play ball with big business so much. It’s very annoying. This administration more than any other in a long time was truly elected by the people to curb corporations and robber barons. I wish they would go at it more directly. I fear all the tricky chess moves will confuse most people and allow the Republicans to twist things around again and find a way back.

Best wishes,
Denise

Kathleen Sebelius

Insanity, Neglect & The New Age

It’s been awhile since I’ve had a chance to blog. Does anyone out there have a nutball in the family? I mean like an alcoholic, or a narcissist or someone with borderline personality disorder? It’s not very fun dealing with them. Not easy. They have a tendency to absorb all your time and energy by creating drama and making everyone in the family feel bad while turning themselves into a martyr. I’m sure most of you can relate. We all have someone who we have to deal with who fits this general description. I’m pretty sure that part of what fine tunes psychic ability is growing up with a crazy parent. It’s a heightened form of instinct, self-preservation. What will crazy do today? Be nice or kick me out of the house?

Every psychic I’ve ever known came from a seriously messed up family. I suppose being psychic is the consolation prize for dealing with insanity during childhood. Personally I would have prefered a normal family to “the gift.” But then we don’t get to choose sometimes, or perhaps I did choose before I could remember (on the other side).

Which brings me to a few points I’d like to make about how western people have assimilated the notion of Karma and Darma. We seem to have used it as a substitute for the old fashioned “God is punishing me,” or “I must be doing something right,” ideas. It’s become a New Age way of blaming the victim. I’m not sure if anyone saw the Oprah show about the girl who was so neglected that she was still in a diaper and weighed 30 pounds at the age of 6. She couldn’t feed herself, had lice and cockroach bites all over her and slept on a mildewed piece of foam. She couldn’t walk or talk and was still being fed from a bottle. She was cognitively still a baby from the severe neglect. Her name was Danielle and when her mother was asked in an interview about the girl she said, “All I’m guilty of is, is not keeping a clean house.” Then she started crying and said, “I love that baby.” And then when the interviewer asked the woman if she regretted anything (this was after the mother had been informed of the severe retardation she had caused the girl due to her neglect) she answered, “Moving to Florida.” Because Florida authorities were the ones who busted her and took Danielle away from her. This woman went out drinking constantly, left her child in the care of her two mentally retarded brothers and said to authorities, “I’m doing the best that I can.”

I was very disturbed by this story for so many reasons. The little girl was permanently damaged by this neglect. Although she was adopted by some kind people, her life was stolen by her sick mother. Children who suffer neglect feel invisible and those who suffer from any and all abuse feel its their own fault. This is a defense mechanisim. It’s actually easier to (as a child) believe you are the problem than your parent is, because you are completely dependant on them and the only thing you have control over is yourself, therefore if you’re a bad kid then you can change your behavior and magically your sick parent will become kind and loving. Of course this isn’t true but it is the fantasy all abused and neglected children have about their sick parent or sick parents.

Stay with me here I want to tie this mentality to many New Age beliefs. Louis L. Hay wrote a book in the late 1980s that broke down each illness and told you what was emotionally causing it, like you have back troubles, you are feeling unsupported. While I can see the value in how certain types of stress contribute to our physical problems, sometimes its really not our fault and we do not have control no matter how much we wish we did. Sometimes a person gets back trouble because they get hit by a drunk driver, or they fall down the stairs. Or they have a genetic disease. I have trouble with many of the New Age beliefs that don’t allow for chaos and the dark side of human nature. Many New Age beliefs hinge on a love and light philosophy where everything is decided by our souls before we incarnate and there are no victims and all is for the good of our development. Bull shit.

Pure and simple bull shit. There are people who throw monkey wrenches into our plans, there are people who do not live up to their side of a bargain and there are children born to psychopaths who treat them like potted plants and who steal their development and life away. How can this sort of serious abuse and neglect of a child be anything but the fault of the crazy person who could do that to a child and still believe they “love,” them. Why would any soul choose to incarnate into a situation like what Danielle had to suffer and what could she possibly have learned from it? She will spend the rest of her life with the cognitive skills of an 18 month old and when her foster parents die, she’ll end up in an institution. Does anyone deserve that? And if they do then why would Danielle have been rescued and what gives that mother the right to be so cruel?

The tangle of moral questions are too great to be answered with simple New Age platitudes or really any spiritual ideas because these are depraved acts done in the service of the darkest sides of their nature without thought or care of anyone but themselves. These people operate in the darkness of the unconsccious playing out their shadow selves while being completely unaware and unable to experience love or empathy.This mother clearly had some sort of personality disorder. She was completely unable to have empathy for anyone, even her own child.

Which leads to the question of what causes this incredible lack of empathy among people with certain personality disorders? Is it chemical, genetic or enviornmental or do they bring into this life some sort of spiritual lack that makes them incapable of caring for anyone else. These people often have deep feelings for themselves and see themselves as victims with elaborate justifications for their actions. They can turn their own evil deed into the passing stranger’s fault in a split second. They live like Plato’s cave people, in an eternal darkness projecting their emotional troubles onto others without ever seeing themselves or how they are hurting others. They never take responsibility or say they are sorry for anything as they see themselves as godlike, above all others, their emotions being the only ones that count. These are the people that bring chaos to our world, who cause wars, who are destroyers. They balance those among us who go out of our way to help others. They are the entropy to our growth. There must be a purpose for them, but I still haven’t figured out what it is yet.

Many blessing to all you kind and good people,

Denise

Insanity, Neglect & The New Age

War?

I wanted to post something one of you sent me via e-mail. It is a link to a Polish psychic who seems reputable, claiming there maybe war coming this year in the fall. There was mention of Israel being part of the problem in that it starts the conflict secretly and when the other country retaliates they get blamed. The war widens out to a bigger conflict. I talked a little about my fear of the hawkish government in power in Isreal and the way they had been dealing with the Gaza strip as well as other conflicts. Anyway, it was interesting to see this man’s predictions as according to him they parallel some of the things I’ve written about here on the blog. If anyone is interested it’s a short piece at:
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread368400/pg1

Hopefully, this psychic will be wrong and my dream will also be off base. If I get anymore info about this issue I will of course post it.

Many blessings,

Denise

War?