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Ironically if I were to come down on a side it would be anti-abortion, but I firmly believe that if a woman doesn’t feel she can have a baby then she should not be forced to do so. I personally could never have an abortion because of the moral ambiguity but women will do it whether it is legal or not and if they are that afraid and desperate than it does no one any good to force pregnancy on them. No one should be forced into parenthood. It is too great a responsibility. And for those women generous enough to have the children and give them up for adoption, I think they are amazing. And rare. 

To address hopeandaplan’s judgement issue, I feel it is appropriate to fight and even have anger toward people who want to force their beliefs on others. Whether they want to control a woman’s womb, suicide bomb people of other religions or throw Jews in ovens. Anyone who feels they have a hot-line to God’s will is dangerous. As I said, I don’t advocate abortion and on a personal level could never do it, however that issue is far too complex and personal for any religion or legislation to dictate a broad stroke approach to. Same sex marriage is another issue that makes me insanely angry. It is a fundamental human right for adult human beings to seek out a partner and make a family with that person, whatever their sexual orientation. And it pisses me off that anyone feels they have the right to take away someone else’s happiness because of some “religious” belief. Here’s my religious belief, God/Goddess made all of us and we have no business deciding which people get to have the right to have a family. All I can say about a God who creates gay people and then smites them is, he doesn’t sound much like God. My God is not a jealous, judgmental, perverted sadist who creates people so he can torture them later by disavowing their nature and advocating their treatment as a second class citizens. If that’s God then who’d want to hang out with Him in the afterworld? He’d be one cold, mean spirited creator.

I know a lot of people site the bible to prop up their homophobia but the bible was written by human beings and many of their beliefs were primitive. Jesus came along to let his people know they had the wrong picture of God. God is a loving, accepting God. He advocated non-judgement of others. But that message seems to have gotten lost in the last wave of Evangelical zealotry. I bring gay marriage as another example of a religious group taking away fundmental human rights. Some day history will look back at this (if we survive our own stupidity) and see this as another human rights atrocity.

To get back to some of the questions such as: whether we pick our parents or not. I’ve thought long and hard about that for most of my life. And I’ve read several books on documented cases of people (or children really) who come into this world remembering in great detail their previous family. Often these kids died prematurely in their past life and were born into their new life with birth marks where the unnatural trauma site was from the previous life, the one that killed them. In pictures of both their previous selves and their new selves they have an uncanny resemblance and wear their bodies in the same way. These kids often insist on going back to the village and family they left behind, so much so that their new family eventually abides and it turns out that they show their new family the way to the village and go right to the door of their old home and know everyone’s name and remember their former selve’s likes and even recognize things that were once theirs in the home. I bring this up to illustrate how complex reincarnation is and over the years it has become my belief that our souls are meant to incarnate during a period of time to connect with people we have karma with and to accomplish our spiritual missions. Our parents sometimes may have karma with us, but not always, sometimes I think it’s a matter of timing and the right genetics that a soul gets fitted into a family. From the research I’ve seen on actual documented cases of reincarnation, it seems more often than not our parents are the best match at the time for the souls needs (in terms of genetics, time and place). Otherwise if we truly did pick our parents this would not account for free will and would point to a universe in which everything was more fate based than free will based. By that I mean it would require certain people to mate and certain times. And if this place is a school house free will is essential to our growth. This would also account for children born to abusive parents or parents who murder their own children, which sadly accounts for the vast majority of murders of children and most of the people who murder their children are women. So back to the issue of abortion. Was it moral for Andre Yates and her husband to keep having children despite the fact that she was becoming more and more psychotic with each pregnancy? And told by doctors that she shouldn’t have more children as it would push her to extreme psychotic states that could potentially lead to a psychotic break and the murder of her children? Andrea Yates had been in and out of mental hospitals and doctors had urged the couple not to have more children as the hormonal imbalance and extreme postpartum was extremely dangerous. Yet because of their religion they decided to just keep having babies and have someone from the family on constant vigil. It was during the changing of their guard that Andrea went nuts and murdered all three of her kids.                                                                                                                                                                                        

As someone who survived child abuse, I can tell you most of my childhood I lived in fear of being murdered. I’m not being hyperbolic. And I have seen the damage it did to me and my brother and two half sisters who were lucky enough to have a different mother but still suffered as well despite being much older. I can see the damage in all of us. In my case it probably enhanced my psychic ability which is also genetic on both sides, but I would gladly have traded it for a normal family life. 

So to answer the student, I would say that if a child is going to be born into this world as a punching bag, then yes, I think abortion is a better way out. Because I believe that soul will find another way to come through. My mother had 4 abortions, 3 from my father, 2 between my brother and I, and one after my brother. And another abortion when she was in her 50s by her boyfriend (my father was long dead by then). She told me about the abortions when I was about 11. At first I was very angry at her because I felt like she had murdered my brothers and sisters. But then after awhile I felt they were lucky. They had some how escaped the nightly drunken beatings, the moods that turned on a dime, and some things too horrible and dark to talk about. Some too painful to even fully remember. My mother wasn’t a young woman when she had the abortions, in her 30s and the late one in her early 50s. She had no excuse in my opinion. Why not use birth control? I have no idea. And I think it illustrates how little she cared about my brother and I. I often wondered why she had us at all after hearing about all the abortions. But I figured it was like everything else in her life, some sort of salve or bargaining chip to get what she wanted not because she had any desire to give love to another human being and nurture them unconditionally.

So again, I don’t advocate abortion at all and I understand people feeling it is morally repugnant, but I also understand what it is like to be a child afraid of a parent and I’m not sure that is any way for a child to live. This issue again is far too complicated and nuanced for anyone to paint with a broad brush. It is not for those outside the situation to judge which is why I only advocate staying out of this personal issue. And allowing those who have to make those decisions to do so. Maybe for some it is the lesser of two evils. And certainly if someone is raped or their life is in danger due to pregnancy then that is also another set of circumstances.

At the turn of the last century 30% of women died in childbirth and before the invention of the c-section the statistics were even higher.  I know a lot of people think it’s natural and don’t even want to go to a hospital, but in reality it is still very dangerous and many women end up in comas or victims of very debilatating strokes. I worked with a doula after I gave birth due to all my health complications and she told me in the orthodox Jewish community there were a lot of women who ended up in comas or who had such bad strokes they were completely unfunctional. This is because of their belief that the woman has to have the child naturally. So women still die in childbirth or come very close. This is another reason the issue is not so cut and dried.

The anger I expressed in the previous posts was over people who to put it generously are not informed about all sides of this topic and feel the desire to insert themselves into the personal decisions of other people. Again I do understand the anger over abortion in many ways because we are talking about a potential human life here and as a parent of a baby girl the idea makes me sick to think about. But if someone uses abortion as birth control they are mentally ill. And personally coming from a mother who seemed to do that, I can say without compunction my soul would have been better off incarnating through someone who was mentally stable. Having an abusive mother may have given me insight and compassion, or it may have given me nothing at all, except deep pain. I’ll never know, but I suspect the latter.  

And one more statistic I wanted to drop in was; people who come from abusive childhoods die much earlier and have many more health complications and problems throughout their lives. This is based on empirical research and data. I know personally that I spent most of my childhood being sick and a lot of my adult life as well. I think it’s from a subconscious desire to die. When you love someone (like your mother) so much and so unconditionally, and they physically and verbally abuse you constantly and consistently, it is extremely stressful and heartbreaking. And everyone knows now, stress and heartbreak literally can kill you.

Best wishes and many blessings,                                                                                                 Denise

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Answering Readers…

Readers questions answered.

From:

karidad

I read your blog with great interest – and have sent it on to others. I have a question about Proposition 8. As a lesbian with a partner of 20 years, we were delighted to finally have a legal wedding on Sept 27th. Our party favors were No on Prop 8 yard signs and Obama/Biden stickers.
BUT now I hear that Prop 8 may pass.
This is really distressing. Could you tell me what you ’see’?
Thank you

I was delighted as well when this passed and all people were recognized as human beings with the right to share their life with the person they love. How beautiful is that? Isn’t that what we all want. I can’t believe it has ever even been an issue in our land of “freedom.”

It was about time.

I don’t understand how anyone could believe they have the right to interfere in another person’s life, stand in someone’s way to happiness and the right of all people to have a family. It really upsets me, but anyway. I’ve seen the lame prop 8 ads, and it’s really been upsetting me, too. So let’s ask the tarot:

Will Prop 8 Pass?

It will be close.

But NO it will not pass.

Phew, I was worried there. I do feel that it is imperative for people to really get out and let their voices be heard about this. Like I said, sadly, it will be close. But it looks like there are enough people who see loving another as a right and they won’t take it away.

From another Reader:

Hello, I represent an online community of individuals who suffer from acne scarring and other types of facial scarring (due to surgery, burns, etc). As of yet there are no procedures that can offer us any real improvement and so we’re looking to the newly emerging field of tissue regeneration to yield a real solution. There is currently a global race between countries and scientists to see who can achieve perfect skin regeneration and scarless healing first. Many scientists are confident that humans contain the dormant capacity to regenerate tissue and organs, and that that can be turned on with proper gene-therapy and other types of stimulating treatments. Other scientists are working on means of “rebuilding” lost or damaged tissues. But the truth is that we do not know for sure if any of this is truly possible. However, it is something that many scientists are working hard to figure out.

That said, with the impending global financial crisis, many of us have become disheartened that research that will lead to scarless healing/skin regeneration will lose steam or halt completely. Could you give us any insight into the following questions?:

1.) What do you forsee happening in the next 20 years with the progress of stem cell research and the development of other tissue regeneration technologies? How badly will they be affected by the financial crisis?

2.) Some of us in this online community have discussed at length contacting an existing research institute in hopes of starting a foundation within the institute devoted solely to skin regeneration. We would endeavor to raise funds by contacting millionaire/billionaire biotech investors around the globe. If scarless healing ever is achieved it will be worth billions. In these tumultuous financial times, is it even worth our effort to try and spearhead something like this? If not, when WILL it be the right time to start something like this?

3.) Will we ever make the scientific advancements & developments necessary to achieve perfect or near-perfect skin regeneration on individuals who’s skin has been badly damaged (i.e. acne scarring or third degree burns)?

4.) If so, when will this happen/what is the timeframe (i.e. 10 years… 20 years….30 years…. 100 years….. never?)

5.) From what country will the solution emerge?

We are essentially a group of people with deeply broken hearts, hanging onto hope that we aren’t even sure is valid. Modern medicine does not currently have an answer for us, but it is our deepest hope that someday it will. However, if it is not to be in our lifetime, then knowing that would help all of us to move on and not spend any more time waiting in vain. Perhaps you can help ease the burden of “not knowing” by infusing our search with a little foresight into the future.

In Deepest Gratitude,

Octavia

Hi Octavia. I’m very sorry to hear about the plight of so many with this problem. I will try to tackle as much and as many of these questions as possible.

I asked the tarot if there would be any significant advancement in the next 10 years:

The tarot gave me a maybe.

It will depend on all of you. You will be able to sell this idea to a research/cosmetic or medical company, mainly for cosmetic reasons that can be applied to the larger population. You guys need to gather a think tank and figure out how your healing your condition could benefit the greater market. For example perhaps this condition if cured could lead to doctors using this treatment post surgery so people would not get scares. This would be especially appealing to the plastic surgery community. You also maybe able to convince researchers to get to the root of the problem with similar broader application. Perhaps if it is a genetic collegan problem then understanding how this gene works and repairing it may also be applied to how to enhance this gene in ordinary people so their skin can look perpetually youthful. Don’t loose hope. You guys just need some angles outside of your group. I believe if you start working on it, and ask me this question again in six months or a year, after you have made a plan, there will be a very different outcome and the answer will be yes. You will see a cure. But you guys are going to have to make it happen.

You can do this even with the financial market in crisis. And actually, oddly this came up as an advantage because once the turmoil settles a bit, there will be people looking to invest in new technology, especially medical technology as the baby boomers age. And as we all know, they are the biggest generation on the planet. I have a strong feeling once you hone your plan you will find investors willing to help you get it to the next level.

I found this post to be important and timely:

curious123
mulcena@yahoo.com | 72.185.139.211

I have been watching the news coverage of McCain/Palin rallies and I can’t believe all the hatred especially from some of the African American people. It leaves me uncomfortable as a black person. Literally, the feeling I have is down right sick to my stomach. Why are people negative about Barack Obama? I understand having a difference in views and opinions but HATE…why? I am not for Obama because he is black. I’m for Obama because of his policies and the sense of his character. Like I’ve said before, I feel something about him that is different and honest and feel he is for the people. I would encourage any candidate if I felt the same way about him. I don’t understand why McCain is encouraging this hate by speaking the way he does at these rallies. McCain is not speaking about the issues important to me and the policies he has I don’t agree with. But, I don’t wish him harm or hate. I just won’t vote for him…that’s all. Karma has to come and take care of McCain/Palin. All this negative energy is unbelievable…it too much. I’m not naive, believe me, I know racism but come on. I don’t see any democrats yelling out ignorance…why do republicans? Yes, Obama is a bi-racial. Yes, he has a Kenyan name. Ok, let’s move on!

I couldn’t agree more with you about McCain/Palin whipping up hatred and racism. It is despicable, dishonorable, traitorous, disgusting, pathetic and desperate. It pains me to say the reason they are doing this is because that’s all they’ve got. They are both clearly morons with no answers. Neither of them answer a question directly or have any clue how to get us out of this financial crisis. In Palin’s case she went to 5 party schools taking a total of 6 years to get her bachelors degree. In McCain’s class he graduated in the bottom 5 of his class.

Barack Obama had an academic scholarship to Harvard. I think its clear that Obama does not just have a compassionate agenda, and is even keel, but he’s also a brilliant man. Clearly, we need someone with a brain to get us out of the mess the last nit wit put us in. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that after 8 years of Bush we’re bankrupt. He did the same thing to every company he headed. He even managed to bankrupt a Texas oil company. That’s like going broke selling gold for copper. It doesn’t even make sense. I can’t tell you how angry I am that we have such an ignorant, mean spirited, doggedly small minded contingency of Americans. It is beyond sad. I used to believe most people were good. I’m starting to believe that there is a huge percentage of people who don’t want to think. They may not be “bad” people, but they just want an authoritarian style leader, they live in fear, are reactive, cloistered and unintelligent. They think of politics like some people think of sports, they’re team Red no matter how insane, or terrible their candidate might be. These people are not thinking about how their “team” will impact their life but rather they have some kind of identity wrapped up in belonging to this group. Even if it means their extinction, a global depression, their daughters inability to get an abortion if raped by a relative, or the loss of their own job. It’s just mindless! I wish they would pay attention to the actual truth, listen to the positions, look at people’s records and vote according to who is best for our country not because they want their team to win or because they can’t stand the idea of anyone other than a white person being president. Let’s face it, this is the undercurrent of the Republicans. I’ve had people post insanely racist things about Obama, which of course I deleted. I wish the media would deal with this, it’s just disgusting.

I read an article on a blog, someone analyzed Palin’s IQ at between 100 and 115. Here’s the link if anyone is interested in reading this person’s assesment: http://www.halfsigma.com/2008/09/sarah-palins-iq-no-higher-than-110.html

If she were on the higher end of this scale, she’d be smarter than something like 75% of the American people. That is really scary! The more we are finding out about Palin the more frightening she gets. I recently read she is a Dominion, a branch of Evangelicals who believe in ushering in the end of days, better known as Armageddon. Here’s a quick little explanation I found:

Dominion Theology

From Sociologist Sara Diamond in an article titled “Dominion Theology:”

More prevalent on the Christian Right is the Dominionist idea, shared by Reconstructionists, that Christians alone are Biblically mandated to occupy all secular institutions until Christ returns — and there is no consensus on when that might be.

From George Grant, a leading dominionist writer in The Changing of the Guard, Biblical Principles for Political Action:

Christians have an obligation, a mandate, a commission, a holy responsibility to reclaim the land for Jesus Christ — to have dominion in civil structures, just as in every other aspect of life and godliness.

But it is dominion we are after. Not just a voice.

It is dominion we are after. Not just influence.

It is dominion we are after. Not just equal time.

It is dominion we are after.

World conquest. That’s what Christ has commissioned us to accomplish. We must win the world with the power of the Gospel. And we must never settle for anything less… Thus, Christian politics has as its primary intent the conquest of the land — of men, families, institutions, bureaucracies, courts, and governments for the Kingdom of Christ. (pp. 50-51)

(The above quote comes from Dominion Theology: Blessing or Curse by Thomas Ice, published in 1988 by H. Wayne House and Thomas Ice. pp. 412)

From Reconstructionism to Dominionism, Part 1, Talk To Action, November 25, 2005 — Includes links to interviews Bill Moyers gave with Rousas Rushdooney in 1989

 

Sorry to get so angry about all of this. I just don’t like people playing dirty, being cruel or illiciting violence against others. Hate mongering makes me very angry!

We must not be passive in the face of violent hate mongers. As the famous poem states about Nazi Germany:

When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist. When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn’t a Jew.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.

We are all going to need to be, not just compassionate, kind and honest right now, but feisty as well. We are in for some very strange and difficult times. And the kind hearted can not let themselves be trampled on any longer!

Blessings and best wishes to all of you.

Answering Readers…