Update: elections, migraines, politics, private readings

     OK, I know I said I would do readings again, but I have to go with the dreams and patterns that are happening. The very thing that has given me the gift of seeing the future was born out of a very difficult childhood and as a result I have neurological issues that are being triggered by taking on the stress of others. Someday in a book or on this blog I’ll go into it but for now I have to say I’ve had dreams about this being a bad idea for me.

     I have been doing extensive praying for the world. More than that I have been projecting psychic energy into the the collective unconscious to try and help all humanity, nature and keep us on the path toward saving this earth rather than destroying it.

     This is my work. This is what I am called to do, the blog is just one incarnation. Other versions of this will come out through my writing. I am someone who likes to remain hidden for reasons going back to my childhood. I have taken on much in my life – too much for me to bear at times.

     Right now I feel the pain of this world so intensely that I can’t take all the individual pain on right now. I wish I could,  but I am already starting to suffer from terrible neurological issues. Those of you who have read my blog for a while know I suffer from a rare debilitating kind of migraine – and as it turns out it’s not just one type but two.

     The more pain people unload on me the more violent and painful the migraines which I’ve been having again since saying I would do private readings. It’s also why I  felt I had to charge so much to make up for the down time. But it’s not for me right now. I have to be well and stay the course. I was getting healthy when I focused on my writing and this blog.

     I am thankful to so many of you who have been supportive. And I wish I could lift up those of you who are going through such terrible times. I do know however that things are going to get better and are slowly but surely.

     What we’ve all been through was huge and it is taking a Herculean effort by those good people who serve us in Washington to turn this around. Sadly, not everyone who goes into public service is good.

     I am not surprised by the venom with which the Republicans have shown in their comments toward me. I worked as the manager at a polling site in 2000 during the Gore-Bush election. I knew the outcome would be Bush in the Whitehouse and Gore would win the popular vote. I knew looking at their astrology. And I just knew it. I also knew there would be a tremendous amount of cheating on the side of Republicans.  Even in my district which was very Blue/Democratic they came in every hour during the morning to make sure and check to see what Republicans had voted – which is legal but the Dems didn’t do this, and then when the afternoon came and they didn’t come back in I noticed they had dropped off a bunch of Republican pamphlets instructing people on which candidates to vote for and which measures they felt were good. This is illegal. It is called electioneering. No one is supposed to put up signs or pass out pamphlets within 100 feet of a polling place. But they literally dropped them next to the legitimate literature people picked up before going into the booth. I was livid. Nothing was done. I called the police – they did nothing – the news was eclipsed by much bigger versions of this in Florida and alas we have history, 9/11, and two wars still going and the worst economic disaster since the 1929. Yet they pretend to freak out over what happened in Libya as if it was all the fault of the Obama administration when they got several memos stating that airplanes were going to be used to take down the Twin Towers. Really the nerve of these guys is disgusting. They wouldn’t take responsibility for that even though it was clearly their mistake – Condoleezza Rice said with no visible remorse that yeah, she’d seen the memo, but what were they going to do about it? How about get George Bush to come back from his 6 week vacation on his ranch and make plans to find the terrorists? That would have been a start.

     The election debacle or Republican coup – make no mistake it was no accident. When I went to the county with the pamphlets, they told me it had happened at EVERY POLLING PLACE in CALIFORNIA! Yes, and nothing was said or done about it. These are the people Obama and the Democrats are fighting against – people so greedy and desperate for power (think Smeogol in the Lord of the Rings) that nothing else matters but getting their way – by any means necessary.

     They are Machiavellian. Sorry to say, it’s not just an ideological difference – those who choose to go into leadership in this party are a very different sort of politician – not all of them, but most of them. I pray that this changes and we get back the good Republicans of old who were as dedicated to American values as Democrats are (pre-Nixon), but for the most part the Republicans are dedicated to tearing this country in two classes – wealthy and abject poverty so they can freely exploit those they wish like they did in the good old days when women didn’t have the vote and slavery was legal. Make no mistake we had a coup in 2000 and while I don’t believe they care enough about Romney to orchestrate such a broad scheme, they do fight dirty. And then they complain about it when they get hit back. It’s really disgusting.

     I’m not sure why the Republicans wanted Howdy Doody meets Forrest Gump as their leader except maybe he represented what appeared to be the perfect puppet. But a leader is NOT a puppet. The president makes the calls at the end of the day no matter what and I knew we were headed for terrible danger. I even wrote a book about it starting in 1999 when I finished the first draft. I saw the polarization of America coming. The set of rules for those in power and the rest of us and many other things that have come to pass and will if things go down that road.

     But there are good people in government – despite what cynics think and what Republicans believe. Even some good Republicans who haven’t gotten the memo out of willful ignorance of reality or perhaps just intense disregard for what the party has become.

     I know Obama is a good man. I know Hillary Clinton is putting herself through hell because she wants to help people. I can feel the people who are in politics not to grab power for themselves, but to lift people up and make this country a better place – true Americans who believe in the core of this country and the ideals that make it great.

     We have a choice. We have always had one. We have chosen the dark path on more than one occasion and corrected our mistake. Obama is a correction and he will continue to make this country better and the world better. He isn’t perfect and I don’t agree with everything he’s done but he has to give to get and we have to start somewhere.

     What I can tell everyone is: Obama is in politics because like me he wants to serve people. He believes in the goodness of humanity. And like me sometimes that’s not always easy to do when we are treated badly – when racism, sexism, or just mean-spirited, selfish people take aim at you.

     I would never lie and say that I don’t have an agenda. I do. I want to make this world a better place for all beings. I want so much for us to clean up our mess, to be kind and respectful of all life, to walk our talk. If you believe in God in any form then you should want what I do – to preserve creation. If you don’t you are not a man or woman of God – you are part of the dark side – the chaos – destruction. Count yourself down with the truth of that and I have no problems.

     What I can’t stand are hypocrites – those who claim to want what’s best and use hatred, racism, anger, misogyny and whatever twisted emotion we all struggle with against those who lack the introspection to be clear about what is happening. Think what you will of me, but I don’t get paid to write this blog. I do it because I hope and pray for a better world. And there are many other people out there like me who have put themselves in the sites of very bad people – people who would kill them – like Michael Moore who has constant death threats, just because he showed the world the man behind the curtain wasn’t always working for them.

     I wish all humanity could find that part of them that connects them to the Great Spirit/God/All Living Beings because if they did – there wold be no psychopaths, sociopaths or plutocrats. All would feel the pain of the other and empathy – the key to compassion and love would reign supreme as God intended it.

     Use your own intuition – do you see anything behind Romney other than used car salesman who just wants the job because his dad didn’t get it? The man has not one ideological bone in his body. As he has made clear he is a BUSINESSMAN. It was businessmen who crashed this economy 4 years ago. It was businessmen that shipped our jobs to China. It was businessmen who created the financial disaster we are in. As Romney said himself – it isn’t government who creates jobs – it’s business. So how can he create jobs if he doesn’t believe it’s the job of government to do so?

     Unfortunately for Romney history has proven him wrong. The Great Depression was defeated by government – by investing in hiring people, creating safety nets for the elderly, sick and widows – social security. Government did fix it and we had the MOST STABLE THRIVING ECONOMY IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD until the deregulation that happened in the 1980s via Reagan. Shortly after what he did the banks collapsed then, too. Or is that too far back for people to remember? All those S &L’s went under and one of the Bush boys went to jail for it among many others.

     If you don’t believe me just look at history. You don’t have to be psychic, or liberal or anything, just read some facts, use your brain, put some things together, be smart and you’ll see that “Trickle Down Economics” means “Rich people getting Richer,” while you and your family struggle to keep afloat.

     Blessings to you who walks in the light despite the darkness,

     Denise

PS. I still stand by what spirit told me last December 2011 that Obama will win but it will be a squeaker. I’ve asked again and it has remained the same.

The Shadow Self

Many New Age concepts and ideas focus on the love and light side of human nature and neglect dealing with the shadow self. In ancient esoteric tradition the shadow self is as important to master as forging a connection to the higher self is.

By the shadow self, I mean the dark side of ones nature, the place where pain, childhood scars and wounds get hidden. Often it is this part of the self we work very hard to keep in the dark for fear of seeing ourselves as imperfect, wounded or incapable. It is the shadow self that plays the trickster giving us a visceral dislike of someone who reflects this part of us, or seduces us into a relationship that opens up the closet full of familial negative patterns and self-sabotage.

It is not that the shadow self wants to destroy the self, it is the shadow’s job to make us face our deepest pain, fear, sadness, remorse, shame and grief in an effort to heal and move past these events that marred our sacred wholeness. 

We live in a culture that promotes easy answers, quick solutions, magic pills and 7 steps to success. Oprah talks about “light bulb” moments, as if one moment, one concept or one idea can actually change the trajectory of someones entire life. In reality our experience is built in layers brick by brick, no one piece of information will solve everything, no one solution is right for everyone and while there are helpful principles and lessons, there is no Secret behind all of life’s dilemmas and no simple solution to just visualize what you want. Sure all those things are helpful tools that can transform a person’s life, but all the visualization in the world of meeting the perfect mate isn’t going to work if one is an agoraphobic shut in whose only human contact is with a handful of relatives who go grocery shopping for them. Unless that person’s soul mate is their mail carrier visualization isn’t what’s holding the person back from their dream, it’s their fear — their shadow self has overtaken and eclipsed their ability to do anything productive, including leaving the house. 

We all are on different journeys and have different shadow selves to heal, and be tricked by. There are no mistakes in life, just opportunities to learn and grow created by the part of us that needs to be healed. But when we judge ourselves based on these past experiences as failures, or idiots or whatever, we fail to see that what happened was perfect.

As painful as any situation maybe, it is a chance to go deeper, learn, grow and connect. Negative experiences afford us the opportunity to re-evaluate and stop the unconscious script we are playing out by becoming more conscious, so that we can make better decisions in the future and individuate fully without the constraints put on us by our ancestors’ issues (parents, grandparents, etc.)

When evaluating any spiritual system it is always (in my opinion) important that that system has taken into account all sides of the human psyche. Systems focusing so much on being positive without understanding, or reconciling the internal negative conflicts we all have can be very dangerous to our spiritual and emotional well being. These systems are more akin to drug addiction than actual spiritual work, affording people the chance to slip into a world of fantasy and narcissism where the ego is dowsed in positive affirmations without the proper reflection and integration necessary to actualize and manifest a person’s dreams.

This is why ancient mystic traditions were not only secret, but required intense study, dedication and meditation. People were brought through layers and levels of teaching depending on their innate wisdom and ability to grasp lessons on multiple layers. Not true of many of the easy fix New Age medicine shows offering a cure to everything in the form of some numbered panacea. (The 3 steps to ultimate weight loss, the 8 steps to becoming a millionaire, the 9 steps to happiness, etc.)

It’s easy to understand something intellectually, but without understanding the emotional and spiritual elements of a problem, it can’t be solved. For example one can not choose who one falls in love with. Intellectually, a person might know that person A is bad for them but love is a feeling, not an idea and therefore no amount of logic can remove that feeling. Instead that person has to go through all the feelings necessary to get to the place where they can let go, usually after immense grief and intense pain, to the point where those negative feelings eclipse the feeling of love and the person can no longer hold onto the warmth they felt for the other person without causing themselves great distress. Does that make the person stupid? Absolutely not. Yet we judge ourselves and others as if we should somehow be able to spontaneously turn into robots and be able to use logic to solve our emotional issues. 

I suppose my point here is the importance of knowing your shadow, of confronting it, making friends with it and letting it teach you. Otherwise if the shadow is ignored it will eclipse a person’s life and lead to terrible heartache, destruction and pain which hopefully will ultimately lead to understanding. But there is a better way, don’t ignore the darker side of your nature. I’m not saying to indulge it, actually exactly the opposite. I’m saying, know it, listen to it and reflect on it so you don’t feel the irrational urge to act on those feelings. This actually works believe it or not. Awareness is the first step, self-acceptance the next, toward controlling your life rather than being controlled by outside influences (actually more accurately your shadow self which if you’re not fully aware of, will feel out of your control as if stuff is happening to you rather than you are co-creating your life). Not that we always have the choice, the shadow self is a trickster and it tricks everyone at some point or another. But the better a person knows their dark side and allows communication with it, the clearer and the healthier the choices are as well. 

And best of all comes the realization that you are a God/Goddess of your own life. Meaning you are co-creator with the divine, part of the divine and given this tremendous gift of consciousness which you can use to achieve whatever goal you set for yourself as long as you are truthful with the wholeness of who you are.