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Again sorry posts have been patchy, my whole family has been sick with a cold, that’s what happens when you have a little one. Anyway, just wanted to update everyone on some stuff. First I’ll give some background so all of what I’m about to write makes sense. When I was in my early 20s working as a psychic I met another psychic who was interested in channeling. She somehow got me to try it and I ended up contacting and communing with a being who called itself Zoma. I just want to remind everyone here that I was not raised in any religious tradition except for a minor stint with Catholicisms shortly after my father died (he was Jewish.) My father was also 24 years older than my mother and most of his family was dead by the time I was born. My first cousins are literally twice as old as I am but anyway I digress…

So it turned out Zoma was very accurate (this is where I got my wordpress handle as you can see) remarkably so. Zoma could answer just about any question directly with specific and very detailed information. There were two occasions I remember most because I ended up discussing them with the querants later which didn’t always happen. Most often the information was written down by another psychic and if told an hour later about what had occurred I couldn’t remember much about it. It wasn’t as if I was in a full trance, but a semi-trance where I was able to interact with Zoma and ask questions in my mind, Zoma would then give the information through me, telling me the things to say. One of the two instances that stuck with me was a woman who had a lot of emotional troubles, she asked Zoma if she had experienced a violent crime. Zoma answered yes, described the area, gave the proximity of the town it took place in to her home and the name of the street it took place on. I remember this because the woman despite the accuracy of the information (which she verified) still wasn’t sure as she had blocked the incident out of her conscious mind. The second was a question about Atlantis from a fellow psychic (a subject I knew nothing about and had no interest in). The psychic asked where Atlantis had been and Zoma gave a location and the name of a ruler. She subsequently did research and found this ruler referred to in an ancient text and reference to the exact area Zoma had claimed Atlantis had been in the same text. That blew me away not only because I had no idea about the subject, but the name of the ruler was very odd and complicated which Zoma correctly identified.

OK, fast forward to the internet – the Zoma sessions were done in the early 90s before the Internet was accessible to anyone outside academia. I decided to look up Zoma and up came information about an ancient Jewish scholar/philosopher named Ben Zoma in the second century.  I thought that was very strange as he (from what I could tell was pretty obscure) and I had of course never heard of him, but again the genetic or Jungian idea of the ancestral memory thing came to mind.

To make a long story shorter I have decided to begin working with Zoma again after many years, not because of Zoma, but because the group of psychics I was teaching to channel began to try and make me into some kind of “spiritual leader” which I am morally opposed to for a variety of reasons. It’s my feeling we all have the answers inside of us if we listen close enough, people can teach people things, but it then becomes the job of the student to take up the mantel and find their own path. I do not like deification or being put in the position of power or responsibility that someone with that title inccures, so I backed away from it. I also was something like 23 years old and not ready to take on anything close to that. I also saw some of the people I had taught abuse their power by lying about what Zoma was saying to control other people and get them to do things they wanted them to do and although it was mostly inoquous, it made me very upset and crossed a line I couldn’t be part of.

So recently I have enlisted Zoma’s help to redefine the astrological system which I feel is in need o an overhaul as many things are no longer timing out and I can feel we are in the midst of a paradigm shift. I believe this is why all the new planets have been discovered and rather than hodge podging it together I’m trying to see if there is a deeper and more meaningful way of getting to all the new astronomical data and its application to us here on earth. At some point I may ask you to participate in my research and subsequently you will receive a free reading via the blog. It will of course all be private and your identity hidden. If you are interested I will make an announcement in the next few months for those of you who wish to participate, so look for that. I will need feedback to help tweak the system, so those who participate will play a vital role in the creation of this new system of divination.

I want also to qualify that I am not New Age and my interaction with Zoma comes from a much older tradition of shamanism. My earliest training was in the ancient shamanistic practices of the Celts and their interaction with other dimensional beings known as the Sidhe or as the Faery people. I was trained in my late teens by a High Priestess who came from that tradition and later worked with a man who was trained in “High Magic” in the tradition of the ancient Sumerians mixed with study of the kabbalah and rituals of the Goetia. My teacher was into talking to demons on occasion, but I personally was not, and only participated in angelic and Enochian invocations. I have never engaged in harming, binding, hurting, manipulating or impressing my will upon others through magic – this in my opinion is the definition of what is termed “black magic.” I only engage in discourses and getting information. healing (if the injured wants the help) and self-improvement through my personal connection with the divine.  Having clear and distinct moral boundaries when dealing with supernatural power is essential to keeping sane and free of negative karma.

Many blessings,

Denise

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The Shadow Self

Many New Age concepts and ideas focus on the love and light side of human nature and neglect dealing with the shadow self. In ancient esoteric tradition the shadow self is as important to master as forging a connection to the higher self is.

By the shadow self, I mean the dark side of ones nature, the place where pain, childhood scars and wounds get hidden. Often it is this part of the self we work very hard to keep in the dark for fear of seeing ourselves as imperfect, wounded or incapable. It is the shadow self that plays the trickster giving us a visceral dislike of someone who reflects this part of us, or seduces us into a relationship that opens up the closet full of familial negative patterns and self-sabotage.

It is not that the shadow self wants to destroy the self, it is the shadow’s job to make us face our deepest pain, fear, sadness, remorse, shame and grief in an effort to heal and move past these events that marred our sacred wholeness. 

We live in a culture that promotes easy answers, quick solutions, magic pills and 7 steps to success. Oprah talks about “light bulb” moments, as if one moment, one concept or one idea can actually change the trajectory of someones entire life. In reality our experience is built in layers brick by brick, no one piece of information will solve everything, no one solution is right for everyone and while there are helpful principles and lessons, there is no Secret behind all of life’s dilemmas and no simple solution to just visualize what you want. Sure all those things are helpful tools that can transform a person’s life, but all the visualization in the world of meeting the perfect mate isn’t going to work if one is an agoraphobic shut in whose only human contact is with a handful of relatives who go grocery shopping for them. Unless that person’s soul mate is their mail carrier visualization isn’t what’s holding the person back from their dream, it’s their fear — their shadow self has overtaken and eclipsed their ability to do anything productive, including leaving the house. 

We all are on different journeys and have different shadow selves to heal, and be tricked by. There are no mistakes in life, just opportunities to learn and grow created by the part of us that needs to be healed. But when we judge ourselves based on these past experiences as failures, or idiots or whatever, we fail to see that what happened was perfect.

As painful as any situation maybe, it is a chance to go deeper, learn, grow and connect. Negative experiences afford us the opportunity to re-evaluate and stop the unconscious script we are playing out by becoming more conscious, so that we can make better decisions in the future and individuate fully without the constraints put on us by our ancestors’ issues (parents, grandparents, etc.)

When evaluating any spiritual system it is always (in my opinion) important that that system has taken into account all sides of the human psyche. Systems focusing so much on being positive without understanding, or reconciling the internal negative conflicts we all have can be very dangerous to our spiritual and emotional well being. These systems are more akin to drug addiction than actual spiritual work, affording people the chance to slip into a world of fantasy and narcissism where the ego is dowsed in positive affirmations without the proper reflection and integration necessary to actualize and manifest a person’s dreams.

This is why ancient mystic traditions were not only secret, but required intense study, dedication and meditation. People were brought through layers and levels of teaching depending on their innate wisdom and ability to grasp lessons on multiple layers. Not true of many of the easy fix New Age medicine shows offering a cure to everything in the form of some numbered panacea. (The 3 steps to ultimate weight loss, the 8 steps to becoming a millionaire, the 9 steps to happiness, etc.)

It’s easy to understand something intellectually, but without understanding the emotional and spiritual elements of a problem, it can’t be solved. For example one can not choose who one falls in love with. Intellectually, a person might know that person A is bad for them but love is a feeling, not an idea and therefore no amount of logic can remove that feeling. Instead that person has to go through all the feelings necessary to get to the place where they can let go, usually after immense grief and intense pain, to the point where those negative feelings eclipse the feeling of love and the person can no longer hold onto the warmth they felt for the other person without causing themselves great distress. Does that make the person stupid? Absolutely not. Yet we judge ourselves and others as if we should somehow be able to spontaneously turn into robots and be able to use logic to solve our emotional issues. 

I suppose my point here is the importance of knowing your shadow, of confronting it, making friends with it and letting it teach you. Otherwise if the shadow is ignored it will eclipse a person’s life and lead to terrible heartache, destruction and pain which hopefully will ultimately lead to understanding. But there is a better way, don’t ignore the darker side of your nature. I’m not saying to indulge it, actually exactly the opposite. I’m saying, know it, listen to it and reflect on it so you don’t feel the irrational urge to act on those feelings. This actually works believe it or not. Awareness is the first step, self-acceptance the next, toward controlling your life rather than being controlled by outside influences (actually more accurately your shadow self which if you’re not fully aware of, will feel out of your control as if stuff is happening to you rather than you are co-creating your life). Not that we always have the choice, the shadow self is a trickster and it tricks everyone at some point or another. But the better a person knows their dark side and allows communication with it, the clearer and the healthier the choices are as well. 

And best of all comes the realization that you are a God/Goddess of your own life. Meaning you are co-creator with the divine, part of the divine and given this tremendous gift of consciousness which you can use to achieve whatever goal you set for yourself as long as you are truthful with the wholeness of who you are.

The Shadow Self