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Ironically if I were to come down on a side it would be anti-abortion, but I firmly believe that if a woman doesn’t feel she can have a baby then she should not be forced to do so. I personally could never have an abortion because of the moral ambiguity but women will do it whether it is legal or not and if they are that afraid and desperate than it does no one any good to force pregnancy on them. No one should be forced into parenthood. It is too great a responsibility. And for those women generous enough to have the children and give them up for adoption, I think they are amazing. And rare. 

To address hopeandaplan’s judgement issue, I feel it is appropriate to fight and even have anger toward people who want to force their beliefs on others. Whether they want to control a woman’s womb, suicide bomb people of other religions or throw Jews in ovens. Anyone who feels they have a hot-line to God’s will is dangerous. As I said, I don’t advocate abortion and on a personal level could never do it, however that issue is far too complex and personal for any religion or legislation to dictate a broad stroke approach to. Same sex marriage is another issue that makes me insanely angry. It is a fundamental human right for adult human beings to seek out a partner and make a family with that person, whatever their sexual orientation. And it pisses me off that anyone feels they have the right to take away someone else’s happiness because of some “religious” belief. Here’s my religious belief, God/Goddess made all of us and we have no business deciding which people get to have the right to have a family. All I can say about a God who creates gay people and then smites them is, he doesn’t sound much like God. My God is not a jealous, judgmental, perverted sadist who creates people so he can torture them later by disavowing their nature and advocating their treatment as a second class citizens. If that’s God then who’d want to hang out with Him in the afterworld? He’d be one cold, mean spirited creator.

I know a lot of people site the bible to prop up their homophobia but the bible was written by human beings and many of their beliefs were primitive. Jesus came along to let his people know they had the wrong picture of God. God is a loving, accepting God. He advocated non-judgement of others. But that message seems to have gotten lost in the last wave of Evangelical zealotry. I bring gay marriage as another example of a religious group taking away fundmental human rights. Some day history will look back at this (if we survive our own stupidity) and see this as another human rights atrocity.

To get back to some of the questions such as: whether we pick our parents or not. I’ve thought long and hard about that for most of my life. And I’ve read several books on documented cases of people (or children really) who come into this world remembering in great detail their previous family. Often these kids died prematurely in their past life and were born into their new life with birth marks where the unnatural trauma site was from the previous life, the one that killed them. In pictures of both their previous selves and their new selves they have an uncanny resemblance and wear their bodies in the same way. These kids often insist on going back to the village and family they left behind, so much so that their new family eventually abides and it turns out that they show their new family the way to the village and go right to the door of their old home and know everyone’s name and remember their former selve’s likes and even recognize things that were once theirs in the home. I bring this up to illustrate how complex reincarnation is and over the years it has become my belief that our souls are meant to incarnate during a period of time to connect with people we have karma with and to accomplish our spiritual missions. Our parents sometimes may have karma with us, but not always, sometimes I think it’s a matter of timing and the right genetics that a soul gets fitted into a family. From the research I’ve seen on actual documented cases of reincarnation, it seems more often than not our parents are the best match at the time for the souls needs (in terms of genetics, time and place). Otherwise if we truly did pick our parents this would not account for free will and would point to a universe in which everything was more fate based than free will based. By that I mean it would require certain people to mate and certain times. And if this place is a school house free will is essential to our growth. This would also account for children born to abusive parents or parents who murder their own children, which sadly accounts for the vast majority of murders of children and most of the people who murder their children are women. So back to the issue of abortion. Was it moral for Andre Yates and her husband to keep having children despite the fact that she was becoming more and more psychotic with each pregnancy? And told by doctors that she shouldn’t have more children as it would push her to extreme psychotic states that could potentially lead to a psychotic break and the murder of her children? Andrea Yates had been in and out of mental hospitals and doctors had urged the couple not to have more children as the hormonal imbalance and extreme postpartum was extremely dangerous. Yet because of their religion they decided to just keep having babies and have someone from the family on constant vigil. It was during the changing of their guard that Andrea went nuts and murdered all three of her kids.                                                                                                                                                                                        

As someone who survived child abuse, I can tell you most of my childhood I lived in fear of being murdered. I’m not being hyperbolic. And I have seen the damage it did to me and my brother and two half sisters who were lucky enough to have a different mother but still suffered as well despite being much older. I can see the damage in all of us. In my case it probably enhanced my psychic ability which is also genetic on both sides, but I would gladly have traded it for a normal family life. 

So to answer the student, I would say that if a child is going to be born into this world as a punching bag, then yes, I think abortion is a better way out. Because I believe that soul will find another way to come through. My mother had 4 abortions, 3 from my father, 2 between my brother and I, and one after my brother. And another abortion when she was in her 50s by her boyfriend (my father was long dead by then). She told me about the abortions when I was about 11. At first I was very angry at her because I felt like she had murdered my brothers and sisters. But then after awhile I felt they were lucky. They had some how escaped the nightly drunken beatings, the moods that turned on a dime, and some things too horrible and dark to talk about. Some too painful to even fully remember. My mother wasn’t a young woman when she had the abortions, in her 30s and the late one in her early 50s. She had no excuse in my opinion. Why not use birth control? I have no idea. And I think it illustrates how little she cared about my brother and I. I often wondered why she had us at all after hearing about all the abortions. But I figured it was like everything else in her life, some sort of salve or bargaining chip to get what she wanted not because she had any desire to give love to another human being and nurture them unconditionally.

So again, I don’t advocate abortion at all and I understand people feeling it is morally repugnant, but I also understand what it is like to be a child afraid of a parent and I’m not sure that is any way for a child to live. This issue again is far too complicated and nuanced for anyone to paint with a broad brush. It is not for those outside the situation to judge which is why I only advocate staying out of this personal issue. And allowing those who have to make those decisions to do so. Maybe for some it is the lesser of two evils. And certainly if someone is raped or their life is in danger due to pregnancy then that is also another set of circumstances.

At the turn of the last century 30% of women died in childbirth and before the invention of the c-section the statistics were even higher.  I know a lot of people think it’s natural and don’t even want to go to a hospital, but in reality it is still very dangerous and many women end up in comas or victims of very debilatating strokes. I worked with a doula after I gave birth due to all my health complications and she told me in the orthodox Jewish community there were a lot of women who ended up in comas or who had such bad strokes they were completely unfunctional. This is because of their belief that the woman has to have the child naturally. So women still die in childbirth or come very close. This is another reason the issue is not so cut and dried.

The anger I expressed in the previous posts was over people who to put it generously are not informed about all sides of this topic and feel the desire to insert themselves into the personal decisions of other people. Again I do understand the anger over abortion in many ways because we are talking about a potential human life here and as a parent of a baby girl the idea makes me sick to think about. But if someone uses abortion as birth control they are mentally ill. And personally coming from a mother who seemed to do that, I can say without compunction my soul would have been better off incarnating through someone who was mentally stable. Having an abusive mother may have given me insight and compassion, or it may have given me nothing at all, except deep pain. I’ll never know, but I suspect the latter.  

And one more statistic I wanted to drop in was; people who come from abusive childhoods die much earlier and have many more health complications and problems throughout their lives. This is based on empirical research and data. I know personally that I spent most of my childhood being sick and a lot of my adult life as well. I think it’s from a subconscious desire to die. When you love someone (like your mother) so much and so unconditionally, and they physically and verbally abuse you constantly and consistently, it is extremely stressful and heartbreaking. And everyone knows now, stress and heartbreak literally can kill you.

Best wishes and many blessings,                                                                                                 Denise

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I’m Surprised…

I’m surprised no one commented on my rather scathing freak out about the right wing wanting to take away a woman’s right to her own body. I wanted to address a couple of things in regard to this. Firstly, this issue is far too complex for any government or religion to monitor or decide. And I will say that abortion is not a new invention of modern science, there are abortive herbs that have been used in all cultures from ancient times until now. Often when they failed the baby was left on a mountaintop to starve to death or be eaten by animals. 

I have very strong emotions about this issue because I feel that we are very complex creatures who have divinity within us. We are not just a collection of bones, hands, feet, brains. We are more than our biology and women are more than vessels for men to put their seed into and sprout another generation of people. Our world is overcrowded. 2ooo years ago there were 10,000,000 people who lived on this planet. Now there are 6,ooo,ooo,ooo,ooo and counting. We can barely give the children and babies who are already here a chance at a decent life, a clean healthy planet and a chance for a future. And the right wingers not only want to dictate the womb of other human beings and force people to jeopardize their health for the sake of an ideology that has shifted and changed (morally) throughout our history but they want to pretend to know the will of God. 

I love children and babies which is why I don’t believe they should be treated like objects, abused or maltreated. It is not fair for an innocent human being to come into this world with the anger and hatred of their mother who didn’t want them. This is the worst thing anyone could do to another human being. It is evil to the child, forget the mother. People who believe we are just a mass of cells should look at the divinity of all things and realize if God/Goddess/Great Spirit/Universe gave us the knowledge and ability to understand and control the flow of humans entering the planet, perhaps it was for a reason. Perhaps it was because we are at the top of the food chain and we need to excercise restraint as overpopulation is causing millions to be born only to starve to death. What kind of life is that? And people ask the question how could God let that happen? God doesn’t let that happen, we as thinking human beings, given the great gift of our intellect have let that happen by not using our intellectual resources to solve these problems and we (often through traditional religious teachings) have hardened our hearts to other people’s suffering. There are all kinds of ways to rationalize the pain of others. I’ve noticed that we have a culture of blaming the victim. Well, sometimes there are victims and there are abusers. And it is that black and white. In the case of children it is that simple.

No one who has hatred in their heart for their own child, or is under tremendous duress at the thought of having a child should have one. Having children is a blessing. It should never be a curse. And anyone who wishes to make it so truly makes me so angry that I don’t even have words to describe my feelings. Abortion is a heavy issue. It is a personal one. I would never want to have to make that decision. I’ve lived in fear of it all my life. I personally couldn’t do it. But some people are forced into this decision by other people, by circumstances or by pure accident despite every precaution they have taken. 

Honestly, I ask these question: Is it better to be born into a life of poverty, hatred, abuse, and neglect? Does anyone believe that the soul of a human being is created at inception? Or is the soul created by a higher force? Or is the soul created at all? Perhaps it is a part of God that is and always has been. 

Only in the case of a person believing that the soul of a human being comes from the fertilization of an egg, could the argument be made that a fetus or zygote is murdered via abortion. If one believes the soul is eternal than two things follow: 1) The soul of the aborted fetus will find another body to incarnate in if that soul needs to be here on earth. 2) Manifestation of the soul can not truly happen until the baby takes its first breath and attains individuation, taking it out of the all inclusive biological system of the mother.

When I got pregnant, I knew something was different in my body. I noticed strange changes, like time seemed to be slowing down, my eyesight changed. And I got a visit from my father on the other side. He brought me a beautiful little girl around the age of 7 or 8. She had my eyes but looked a lot like her cousins (on my husband’s side). She was laughing and running in between his legs, playing hide and seek. That’s when I took the pregnancy test and it came up positive. So far she is everything he showed me. Just like when the white light comes to get you at death and the spirits of your relatives are there for the transition, so it turns out you are brought to this world by a guardian as well. In my daughter’s case her grandfather. So the idea you are born and die alone is absolute falacy. My daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me. And I look at her innocent and sweet face and think of all the children who don’t have people to love them and it breaks my heart to pieces. This is the worst human travesty there is. It leads to antisocial behavior and serious psychological problems that a person can never get over. And this is the curse the right wants to put on our children. It is despicable. Everyone deserves a chance to be their best self and to be loved unconditionally by their parents.

I have nothing but anger at the right for this agenda as if having children were the punishment for being a Jezebel. They clearly do not value life or children at all.

Best wishes and many blessings to all you good people,

Denise

I’m Surprised…